I thought you liked me :(Posted: August 5, 2013
The title of this post is a whiny text I got from Mr.IT, preceded by an equally whiny “I guess you don’t want to see me again.”
Um, no shit dude, because you act like this.
I told him on our first date that I am not looking for love, I am interested in sex and friendship. Period. I told him that I got some great advice from a friend who is also in an open marriage.
“As soon as a guy starts talking feelings and emotions, you walk.”
Could I have possibly been clearer? I have seen this man twice, yet he is relentless in his insinuations that he thinks we should be together–permanently. I am already married. I’m not going to lie, I would love to have a big, happy, poly family someday, but I never told him that, and I would never do that with him. He is a train-wreck.
Exhibit A: His drinking problem. He promises to drive me the hour it takes to get home, and then gets hammered. Both times. Then he tells me he will get me a cab–okay, fine. Then he decides it would be cheaper for me to take the train. Not fine. That doubles the time it will take me to get home to my family.
Exhibit B: He begs me to stay over night, then gets all angry and pissy when I insist that I have to go home. I need to kiss my babies. I want to cuddle with my husband. I do not like spending the night with other men.
Exhibit C: His insistence that deep down I hate my husband and my relationship with him is shot to hell. Because otherwise why would I be fucking around? Um, Clueless, that is what open marriage is. Yes, my sex-life with my husband isn’t enough for me, but that’s not because we don’t love each other. It’s because I am wild, and he is tame. It’s because I am a borderline nympho, and he is verging on the asexual. It’s because I want to explore, and he is not curious. That doesn’t mean we have nothing. The fact that he loves me enough to be okay with knowing I am out getting fucked speaks volumes. The fact that he trusts me enough to know I love him deeply, regardless of who I am banging, means everything.
Exhibit D: His whining and crying about how he wants to get married and have kids. And then when I tell him he can still do all that, he replies, “With you?” Hell. No. This baby shop is closed, and it’s about to be permanent, and did I mention, I’m already married? Plus, besides the fact that he doesn’t know I am open to poly (as is the husband, if we find the right person or people), he says he would insist on monogamy. Because ‘When we can have sex like that, why would we need anyone else?”
Um, because the sex I have with you is just one kind of sex, and I like variety? If I had a partner who was an exhibitionist and a voyeur, who was into orgies but also down with just hard, fast fucking, who loved sexual gymnastics and would dominate me, who wanted to masturbate with me while watching porn, then sure, that would be enough. But that is not Mr. IT, not by a long shot. Hard, fast, sweaty sex is great, but it is not enough. I also know I could never love him. He is way too needy, has a bad temper, and doesn’t have his shit together, despite early evidence to the contrary. And he is always sexting me. It gets old. How many times can you ask me how your cock feels inside me? It feels like a cock. Can we move on?
Clearly, I needed to vent.
I left something important in his car, and I so much do not want to see him again that I am just going to buy another. I was just going to do the Fade Away (watch this video. Seriously. Fucking hilarious), but after the text I received this morning I am guessing he is going to need a Dear John letter. Which is ridiculous, because I have seen him twice.
Oh well. I’ll just send the damn text and be done with it.