My Best Friend’s Wedding: In which I embarrass myself horriblyPosted: September 30, 2013
Rehearsal dinner. Haven’t eaten a bite of food all day. We arrive at the house, and the food is not ready, but there are drinks. I have one rum and coke.
The food is finally served. It is all hor d’oeuvres and there are zero carbs. I am hammered off one drink. Someone tells me I need another. I say I shouldn’t, I’m already too drunk. They say I should just sip a glass of wine, then. In my totally inebriated state, I decide that MORE ALCOHOL is a good idea.
Trashed. Totally trashed.
Groped and repeatedly propositioned two grooms men. Took off my panties, stuck them in my bra, and flashed everyone a shot of my nether regions. Repeatedly.
Had to be carried to the car, and put to bed, where I immediately passed out.
Rock. Fucking. Bottom.
I woke up at 4 AM and considered jumping off the bride’s balcony, but I thought my suicide might dampen the festivities. I opted to live.
If there is one silver lining to this horrifying turn of events, it is that I made absolutely certain to NOT get smashed at the wedding.I ate the morning of, and sipped one cooler in the limo and all throughout pictures. I made sure a drank a LOT of water, and refused all the drinks people kept pushing at me until I had a chance to get some carbs in me. I had way more to drink at the reception than I did at the rehearsal dinner, but somehow I managed to keep my level of intoxication at a level where I was “pleasantly buzzed” and not passing out and/or attempting to rape grooms men.
I was still pretty horny (obviously–I am still me, humiliated or not), but it seemed like every good looking man at the wedding had a date. And I did not. Although I am married, I never do. Go figure. I still had a lot of fun, dancing till my body hurt and drinking enough to feel good. I was on the dance floor with the hottest couple in attendance shimmying on either side of me, and then they took off and I was joined by the bride’s cute, younger cousin.
You know where this is going.
We had chatted a bit outside earlier (I knew he was 22 and from up North), but hadn’t made too much contact since. We danced a few songs and then deciding we needed another drink, we made our way over to the bar. The bride pulled me aside. “You behaving yourself?” she asked with an arched eyebrow and a smile.
“I’m not going to touch your cousin,” I laughed.
She laughed too and took off with her groom.
I’m a liar. Of course I was going to touch her cousin.
He brought me a drink and we decided to take a walk. We meandered through the dark golf course, getting to know each other and marveling at the stars. At one point I said my feet were killing me, and I sat down. He sat facing me. He ran his hand up my leg. I coyly asked him if he was a virgin.
He kissed me. He was a good kisser. We sucked on each other’s lips and slid our tongues in and out of each other’s mouths for awhile, and then he pushed my dress up and slid his fingers inside me. I moaned and fumbled with his belt, until he took it off and slid his pants down. I stroked his cock while he fingered me, and then I laid back on the damp grass and he slid inside me.
We moved through positions like drunken acrobats. I moaned and gasped as he talked dirty to me, telling me I was sexy as hell, that I was a fucking slut, that he loved pounding me.
He had an impressive lack of inhibitions for one so young. We didn’t have a condom (what was I thinking, forgetting that!?) , so I sucked him off while he rubbed my pussy with his fingers. My screaming was stifled by the dick in my mouth.
“Choke on it, you whore.”
Oh God, please just keep talking to me like that.
“You are such a sexy bitch.”
Fuck, that is erotic. “Mmmmmm.”
“You want my cum?”
“Mmm-hmm,” I answered, deep throating him and rubbing my tongue up and down his shaft.
He shot his cum down my throat.
“That was hot,” I said.
We decided to walk back to the reception hall separately, so as not to be totally obvious. He put his arm around me and gave me a kiss, then we studiously ignored each other for the rest of the night.
And that is the story of how I flashed the bridal party and then fucked my best friend’s younger cousin.
I have a problem.
I am a sex addict.