Not Just the Girl he is Fucking

I just got back from a coffee meet-up with our local Fet Life group. I have to say, I love our little community. From the day I attended The Kink Party, it felt like coming home. That sense just gets stronger and stronger the more I connect with people.

Sir introduced us as being “together” tonight. Just a few short weeks ago at the poly pub night he said he was single. Progress. We had the talk this week–the DTR, or “Define the Relationship.” He told me that he is having a hard time with the fact that I’m married. His last submissive was also married (although she was not in an open relationship, but having an affair), and when she was caught she broke it off with him and he was devastated. He is pretty sure we are going to have a repeat, and is struggling with that.

I told him that I feel like I am just a substitute girl until he finds someone he can have a “real” relationship with (which he has mentioned is something that he wants, and of course, is something that he deserves), and he told me he had no idea I felt that way. He said whoever he meets will also meet me and know I am part of the package. This made me smile.

I am not holding my breath that things will actually play out that way. I am not so inexperienced that I don’t know that the odds are not in my favor. But just the fact that I mean enough to him that he even thinks it would play out this way makes me happy. I am not just the girl he is fucking.

He is going away, though. He is taking a vacation for almost two weeks and then playing catch up with his kids (and going away again with them for Christmas), so I won’t see him for 3 weeks to a month. I do not feel good about this. We are in such a weird place that I really don’t think this much time apart will be beneficial, but I guess it may provide some much-needed perspective for both of us. Or maybe that’s what I’m afraid of.

I do have permission to play without him while he’s gone, because I very much doubt I could control myself for that length of time, and he knows it. I may attend a party solo, or see if I can go with one of the women I met tonight who doesn’t live too far from me. For some reason going to these things alone still kind of freaks me out, as welcome as I feel. Or maybe I just know that I want to drink, and need a DD!

That’s all that’s new here. Thanks for reading.



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