A Dirty Girl’s DilemmaPosted: December 20, 2013
Okay. So I know I owe you Part 2 of The Surrogate Sir, and I apologize that it has not been forth coming. I could say that I have been busy with my new job and taking care of two sick kids (which is true), but the fact of the matter is, I’m a little miffed. I haven’t heard from Sir. S or Peanut since the night I wrote about in the aforementioned post, and I’m not sure how to feel about it.
There’s the fact that Sir. S promised to train me and keep me out of trouble (read: out of random peoples’ beds), while my Sir is away. There’s the fact that my Sir, assuming that I would be seeing a lot more of them than I have been, asked me not to have sex with anyone besides them in his absence. But then there’s the fact that frankly, I feel. . .discarded?
I’m sure that sounds strange coming from me. Since when do I actually care about things like that, right? But it isn’t the fucking me and then never contacting me again that’s the problem. It’s the misinformation. I have no issue being used for sex (and using that person back), but I do have an issue with dishonesty. As in, don’t say you will train me, and then disappear. Don’t say you will miss me when my Sir gets back, and then ignore me for the next two weeks into possibly forever. Don’t hold me and tell me that I “fit”, and that we have a really strong connection, and that you are looking forward to spending a lot more time with me, and then not follow through. It confuses the brain.
I don’t often form an emotional connection with the people I have sex with, but when you go out of your way to forge one with me, then fucking follow through. It’s not like I was looking for any kind of commitment or anything of that nature–I just wanted what was promised, which was connection and friendship (and hot sex, ha ha).
On top of my own feelings, I’m also in a position of not knowing how to proceed. I have been asked to play with a number of different people, and I don’t know how I should handle that. My Sir is away, and he can’t really use his cell while he is gone (roaming issues). He has sent me a few short emails to let me know he is thinking of me, but we really haven’t talked at all. So getting his permission to play with someone else may be tricky. And I know (because he told me), that if it wasn’t for Sir. S and Peanut and their promise to take care of me, he would not have asked me not to sleep with anyone else while he was away, because he knows I wouldn’t be able to do it. So, given the fact that Sir. S and Peanut have totally ignored me, I should get a pass on playing with others we know from the community, yes? I mean, one of his biggest concerns was me having sex with people he doesn’t know, and he does know at least a couple of the people who have asked me.
Not sure what to do, there. I am a horny creature and can’t really take much more of this celibacy. But I would also be very proud to tell him that despite S’s neglect, I obeyed his orders. Think of the rewards I could milk that for!