Married Sex: the missing ingredientPosted: March 28, 2014
I have had sex twice since I got pregnant and then got un-pregnant. Both times were with my husband.
The first time I was still a complete mess. I got drunk and then threw myself at him. I was still sore inside, physically, but I didn’t care. This wasn’t about lust or my libido or even pleasure–I was just desperate for comfort.
It felt good and it hurt. My moans were closer to sobs. It was sloppy–not physically, but emotionally. I kept saying “I want,” I kept saying “please.” When it was over I asked him to just hold me. I think I fell asleep, though I was so drunk I may have just passed out.
The second time was last night. I wasn’t drunk. There was no eyes locking across the room, but neither did I throw myself at him. It was sex without pre-amble. We went into our room, undressed separately in the dark, and just started touching each other. We kissed; he fingered me for a long damn time. I squirted twice before he even entered me. The sex was not urgent, but neither was it slow and tender. It wasn’t mechanical–it was just sex between two people who know each other’s bodies and know what they want.
When I was on top I got the most out of it–maybe because I was in control; because I could put him exactly where I needed him. But to my husband, sex is all about me and so he would sometimes throw me off by trying to take back control. Not because he is dominant, but because he feels guilty when he is lying there doing nothing. We’re going to have to talk about that.
Before he could come, he pushed me off. Determined to give me more pleasure before it was over. He fingered me, licked my pussy and pinched my nipples at the same time. I have a recurring fantasy about being serviced by two women and one man at once–one penetrating me, one sucking my nipples and one eating me out. He did pretty well for just one man!
I squirted again, and then begged him to get back inside me. We fucked for a few more minutes, and I came, and then he came.
It was good sex by any standard.
Why doesn’t fucking my husband make me high? I think it’s because we are too familiar. There is nothing illicit about it. Maybe this is why I often have a few drinks before having sex with him–I need something to give me that sense of unreality, to mimic that out of my head feeling I get when I’m with someone I don’t really know.
I know there are tons of ways to spice things up. Different toys, sex in public (which surprisingly my husband is into)–all kinds of stuff.
It will take some work, but I’m starting to believe that we are worth it.