ProblemsPosted: May 24, 2014
Yeah…the more I think about birth control, the more I feel like I just can’t. I already have mental problems and struggle with depression/suicidal thoughts. I am extremely uncomfortable with the idea of fucking around with my hormones, especially because birth control has depressive symptoms as a known side-effect.
I could try an IUD, but I had one of those when I got pregnant with my daughter. So it was essentially useless.
Condoms are great except that in the moment it is hard for my addict-brain to insist.
The average wait time for a tubal ligation–my ultimate goal–is 24 weeks. 24 weeks!
Maybe I should just stay abstinent until my tubes are tied. I cannot get pregnant again. Cannot. Can’t.
Maybe I should just find a girlfriend instead.
Also, my Dom wants me to fuck his friends. Condomless. Why?
I said no. I am waiting for his reply. If he doesn’t like that, we’re done, and I am going back to the convent.
It is possible that I am a terrible judge of character–just terrible.