WrongPosted: June 11, 2014
The first thought I had when he kissed me was “WRONG. This is wrong.”
Logically speaking I know it’s fine for me to have sex with whoever I want to, but every so often slut-shaming and mono-normative thoughts creep into my head and it’s hard to shake them.
He led me inside and told me I needed to be wearing much less clothing, and the teenager inside me who was told she’d be forever sullied if she had sex with someone who was not her husband, quavered.
He started off by having me suck his cock, which didn’t help.
What would people say?
You shouldn’t be doing this.
Shut up, all of you.
We went into the bedroom where he immediately bent me over the bed. I was still swollen from the night before, so much so that despite being wet, he had a hard time entering me.
“I’m beginning to think you can’t handle me two nights in a row,” he said. “You’re so swollen its like fucking an 18 year old.”
Inside, I am still an 18 year old. Just now experimenting with my sexuality, because back then I was too scared and repressed to do so.
It hurt. I grit my teeth as he slammed into me. Told myself to relax like I do at the beginning of anal. Breathed. Whimpered. And eventually came.
It stopped hurting. I came again. I came so hard and got so tight that I pulled the condom right off him–he had to stop and put on another.
I came the way you should only be able to come from tantric sex–continually. I came for 20 minutes straight. As soon as one orgasm ended another began. I rose and crashed, whimpering, moaning, screaming and panting. Eventually, he came too, with me still in the middle of an endless orgasm.
He told me to get up on the bed for a cuddle but I could barely move. He kissed my neck and growled in my ear, sending more shivers of pleasure through me.
I am allowed.
I am allowed to feel this.
I am allowed to use my body in whatever way feels good.
I am allowed to orgasm, I am allowed to cuddle, I am allowed to suck cock, and I am allowed to do it with whoever I want as long as they want it, too.
My body, my life, my pleasure, my choice.
The only one who has to live with it is me.