I don’t know (Part I)–UpdatedPosted: June 29, 2014
I’ve been crying on and off since 4 a.m., and I can’t breathe. I just got home after my second night in a row of no sleep. I am going to have a cup of coffee, followed by a glass of wine.
My husband wants to know what is wrong. “I don’t know,” I tell him, because I don’t know.
Daddy asked me the same thing early this morning as I sniffled as discreetly as possible and turned my face towards the wall so no one would be able to make out the tears pouring down my face in the fading darkness.
“Are you crying?” he whispered.
I shook my head no, knowing I wouldn’t be able to speak without sobbing.
“Why?” he asked.
I shook my head again. He spooned me and wiped my tears away while I steadfastly refused to turn towards him. He ran his hands up and down my body while I took deep breaths to avoid the tell-tale shaking that comes with silently crying.
Minutes later we were fucking.
I don’t even know if I will bother blogging parts II and III of this. I may in a few days when I’ve (hopefully) gained some more insight and given the issue some space, or I may not. Right now I just kinda feel like, what’s the point?