Potential? Opinions please

Okay, my circle of e-advisors. Let me brief you on the potential Daddy I mentioned in a previous post, the one who I felt was being too pushy with texts and asking me to explain why I need a Dom via e-mail. We’ll call him Dark Daddy, just to avoid my blog becoming a totally confusing maze of Daddies and Doms. I’m gonna go back and re-name the others as well.


I told him that I didn’t think he was for me because it felt like he was already dominating me, and I am not his submissive.

He said “You feel dominated because I asked for an e-mail? Wow, he really scarred you.”

I told him that yes, I am scarred and I told him this so he should expect me to get spooked if he comes on too strong. But also that I just didn’t feel like I should have to beg him to be with me–he either wants me, or he doesn’t. I’m not going to let my need for this kind of relationship make me doormat again.

He told me that the reason he asked for an email was because when he’d asked me why I needed a Dom via text, I had been kind of coy about it. He said if this wasn’t a deep-down need, but instead just a want to fill the space between my legs, he needed to know.

He brought up my ex-Daddy (now known as Sugar Daddy), and asked me if I thought he was really a Daddy. I said no. He explained that he understood my need to make sure he is a real Daddy, but he also needs to make sure I am a real baby girl. That I am not just playing around, because he doesn’t want to get hurt either.

And then I mentioned the issue of the texting, and he said all I had to do was tell him I was at work. He understands that sometimes I’m at work, with my kids, or out with friends, and he knows that sometimes he needs to wait. But I can’t expect him to just sense when he should stop texting me unless I tell him.

We added each other on FetLife today (we met on AFF–don’t judge me), and I really liked his profile. Basically it described who he is as a Daddy (not much sex talk but a lot about offering guidance, support and growth), and then he wrote that he is not interested in playing games, so “come correct, or don’t come at all.” Loved it.

So…since we know my judgement is shaky at best, what do we think? Do we keep getting to know him? (Aside from the fact that I obviously shouldn’t be dating anyone right now–we’ll just breeze past that, ha ha.)


16 Comments on “Potential? Opinions please”

  1. Spunky80 says:

    There’s no harm in getting to know him a little more, talking more and seeing where it goes. My hubby is so jaded from the last couple that he says he’s 85% sure he doesn’t want to try another couple but then again….I told him the best way to get over them is get with a new one. Ha ha the only answer I got was The Look. Look for the red flags and proceed cautiously. Good luck 🙂

  2. plantpage says:

    Take it slow. A Dom doesn’t need instant results. Neither does a Daddy. This type of relationship takes time. It’s not a sprint.

  3. plantpage says:

    Good answer. Guess you forgot my email again hahahahaha.

  4. Mr. Gardener says:

    I think you need to take a break, and not see anyone for a while. If you must however, go slow slow slow

  5. chinaskie says:

    Is there any reason why you can’t step back and take a breath? Seems to me like it might be good to do a little emotional housekeeping before having another “resident”. Maybe taking the potential Dom’s words to heart: “Come correct,” is what you do with yourself first…?

  6. d says:

    Test him ..
    Say you need a beak from it all .. if he persists he is out for himself ..if he says cool and leaves you be … he really accepts and respects boundaries .

  7. xtal says:

    I adore your blogs (see gifted writing) with my whole heart. I think you are a sex addict; I feel you are searching way fast and way furiously for that one, The Man of All Men, that will fill the void and complete you. I GET IT, I DO! I get your search. I never knew my father and barely know his name for God’s sake and I’m in my 30s. I feel your pain and I am terribly sorry. Your work has schooled me in ways you may never know. Thank you, thank you for your candor. That which you are looking for you may not find in this life and apparently you suffer a great deal in your soul. But at least someone like me learns from someone like you. Much love to you from me.

    • Thank you.

      I am definitely a sex addict, and its become clear to me that I am also a love addict.

      Can an addict fill the hole inside them by continuing to pursue their addiction? I guess we’ll see.

      I’m so glad you have benefited from my blog. That means a lot to me. I love this place–it is the only space in my life where I can be 100% honest. It has taken me through so much.

      I have realized a lot in the past week, about the root of this need of mine. I am absolutely no closer to solving it, but at least I think I have a solid handle on where it comes from.

      And yes, I could go to sex and love addicts anonymous….but I can’t help but feel that it would be much more fulfilling to just find sex and love. Cause that’s SO easy, right!?!?!

      Thank you for your comments. Stay tuned 🙂

      • xtal says:

        Oh you’re so fast! (I’m putting on my big surprise face) I don’t think this whole “sex addicts anonymous” or wtf is right for you…. I don’t know why I feel that… I guess because what I feel from your work is you’re not the stereotypical addicted to endorphins or serotonin type. I think it comes more from your soul; curse from a past life, or something…..not sure, I just know I go through things and your blog helps PUT REALITY OF FREE LOVE in perspective for me and others. I pray God will help you find your path……..I obsess over c*ck too, but my relationship is so stringent I can’t explore. I AM JEALOUS OF YOU. Funny, life’s irony.

      • LOL. If only I could just keep my stupid heart out of it, huh? Maybe I should have a rule that I fuck them once and then move on…
        Except that everyone once in awhile they are really, really good and it keeps me around…and that’s when this shit starts lol.


  8. Esaelia says:

    Proceed with caution, ask for references and take it slow.

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