SnapshotsPosted: September 4, 2014
This blog started out as a way for me to share my sexy adventures and thoughts. It began as straight-up, undiluted word porn. Since then, it has morphed into a “please everyone join me in the reading of my diary.” It has been hard to strike a balance.
Either way, this blog is my story, but it is not all of it. It is whatever feels like pouring out at the time. Whatever I most feel the need to write about. I can’t share everything, but because of that, what I put forth can be skewed. It is an honest reflection of my emotions and experiences, but only part of a whole.
I appreciate every single one of my readers and commenters. As much as I’d like to say I blog for me, I know I would not be continuing to do this if no one was on the other end. You are with me in this, but at the same time, I am living my 24/7 outside of this space. You get only what I give.
That’s why it is so hard for me to know what advice to follow, and what advice, while well-meaning, may not be the best course of action. You are responding only to what you are told.
Did I tell you about the time I was lost in the rain, freezing my ass off, and Dark Daddy texted to see how my day was going? And when I told him it wasn’t great, he immediately called? Did I talk about how he accessed a map of the area I was in and tried to help me find my way? How concerned he was when I was sick for the following week after being soaked to the bone?
Did I tell you about the hours he spent listening to me cry over another man? How he cradled my pain as though it was his own, when many of my own friends and other men that I met grew uncomfortable, and quickly changed the subject?
I didn’t write about how the morning after a close friend was diagnosed with cancer, I was the first person he called. I didn’t write about his daughter being attacked, and being the person he chose to share that with. I didn’t tell the story about how on the anniversary of his best friend’s death, he called to tell me he cared, because the biggest lesson he learned from that loss was to always let the people in your life know they matter to you.
I didn’t mention these things, or other instances like them, partially because they are not really my story to tell…and partially because I am trying to find balance in what I put out there.
I don’t know that he is the right person for me, or that he is one of the right people. I don’t know that he is the Daddy that I need. It may be that we operate on two different frequencies–that I need more deliberate, structured care in this type of relationship. That what I need to be there, isn’t. If that’s the case, it is okay. No hard feelings, at least on my end.
But I just wanted to put it out there as someone who cares for him, and as someone who writes from the gut and values you all, that the picture I provide of a person or situation is honest, but not complete. It is just that–a picture. A snapshot.