Turn Me Off

 

confidence

One thing that really bothers me, is when men brag about their sexual prowess. It is just not a turn-on. Bragging, in general, smacks of insecurity. If you know you are great, there is no reason to talk about it all the time. Please don’t tell me you will be the best I have ever had. How could you possibly know that? Have you had sex with every person I’ve had sex with?

Another reason this annoys me, is because sex isn’t a contest. Sometimes it is an intimate expression of your relationship with someone. Most of the time, for me, it is a playful, intense experience of humanness. It’s going to be different with everyone, because everyone is different. Saying you are the best at sex, from my perspective, is like saying you’re the best at self-expression. There is no way to quantify that.

There is no best musician, no best artist, no best poet. It’s just not a thing. Sex is the same.

In the same vein, I get beyond irritated when asked if they are better than another partner I’ve had, or have. It is disrespectful, and the type of question that hardly inspires honesty. What am I supposed to say? “No, compared to guys x, y, and z, you kind of suck?”

And what would they say if another woman asked them the same question? “Yes, you are better than bad little good girl? No, she is better than you?” It’s a problematic line of inquiry all around.

I like lovers who are confident enough in themselves that they don’t even need to think about that. They like sex, they enjoy it, they please their partner and have a good time, and they don’t need to talk about how good they are at handling their dick, or have their ego boosted by forcing a woman to tell them he’s the best she’s ever had.

No one is the best I’ve ever had. I’ve had great experiences and less great experiences. Incredible chemistry and inadequate chemistry. Playful sex, intense sex, emotional sex, rough sex, sensual sex. I’ve had marathons and quickies. Vanilla sex, and kinky sex. Public sex, private sex, taboo sex, intimate sex and anonymous sex.

I enjoy the experience and variety. I don’t compare, and you shouldn’t either.


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