I Love UsPosted: January 8, 2015
I’ve been asked about how I am caring for myself, keeping my life in balance, and not being consumed by this love that really, has the power to be all-consuming. My answer is, it is all-consuming. It is with me every moment of every day. We breathe each other and dream each other and love each other with a ferocity that is earth-shattering and mind-boggling.
That said, we know we need to take care of ourselves. Sometimes, that’s together, because we take care of each other, as partners do. Yesterday Papa Bear had the day off work, but knowing I needed to spend time with my daughter, swung by our place and had breakfast with us, and then took my laundry back to his place to wash while he was doing his own. When I went over later–after he came back for dinner with us and we put the kids to bed–I folded it all. His and mine. We are a team.
I had minor surgery last week, and Papa Bear took me. The hubby was at home with the kids, and Papa Bear was with me. He would have stayed with the kids while The Hubby came with me, but hubby was nervous about driving Papa Bear’s car when the weather was so bad, so it was the two of us. He went home to his family after delivering me home to mine, and came back the next night to be my Daddy and take care of me. He brought me a teddy bear that he went to three different stores to find, and a gorgeous necklace with a glass heart that he made with his own hands. And he brought food I could eat post-surgery, and The Hubby and Papa Bear and I hung out and watched terrible TV and laughed and were just together. Because that’s what family does.
As far as individual personal development–his and mine, and our spouses’ too–we are a team in that, as well. I have a lot of goals–they are not really New Years resolutions, as I’ve been working on them for a couple of months anyway, but I have a private blog that is just for Papa Bear to read (The Hubby and The Wifey are welcome to look at it too, and do sometimes). There are sections on health, professional development, self-esteem, family, and personal development (like playing better guitar, or working on my writing projects). I update with what I’ve done each day, towards these goals, and that makes sure that I take care of myself and keep moving forward with my own life. Papa Bear is there to cheer me on, or point me in the right direction, or make sure I follow through with getting enough sleep, making doctors appointments, and spending quality time with my kids, but I have not lost myself in him–though it would be easy to.
For Papa Bear, is it tempting for him to spend every possible moment with me, but he knows that if he does, he will burn out. So he puts his “him” time on the calendar we all share, so that everyone knows that at that time, he needs to be taking care of himself and recharging from loving such passionate, chaotic women.
The Wifey has her hobbies and her design club, and Papa Bear and I watch the kids while my Hubby goes out and has time to himself, or we take the kids out on excursions so The Hubby can have the house to himself to study or do whatever he wants.
I love being part of a team. I love my people, and the support we give each other. I love the fact that a year ago, if I’d needed surgery, it would have been a MAJOR struggle to find anyone at all to help with the kids, and now it’s not even a thought. I love the fact that we have each other’s backs. That I can go on photography shoots with Lucy when she needs a second shooter, that she can help me with my own shoots, that Papa Bear and I can cook dinner for his family one night, and for mine the next.
I LOVE US!