My Holidays



Well, the holidays are over. I feel a mix of sadness and relief, but mostly I’m ready.

I had a great time with my girlfriends at The Nutcracker.

My work Christmas party was a blast–but they just kept refilling our wine glasses and I may have gotten wasted and kissed a co-worker. Oops! I am currently pretending I was too drunk to remember that.

I ended up cancelling my Christmas get together with Papa Bear’s family. The Wifey decided to attend, and I just couldn’t see myself being able to get through it. I thought it would be tense and awkward and painful for all, since she is known to lash out. Mercifully we were all sick that week anyway, so that gave me the push I needed to “post-pone” it.

The Wifey bought me a Christmas present. I knew that she was, because Papa Bear told me, and I had a real internal struggle with whether or not to get her anything. At first I was certain I wouldn’t–she had hurt me deeply and I wasn’t okay with pretending things were fine. Nor was I willing to bow to pressure to buy her a gift just because she bought me one, when I know it was only her way of trying to equal the playing field after her treatment of me. Then I thought, she might use my lack of getting her something as justification for treating me shabbily–and so I almost gave in. She likes elephants, and I was in a store one day while Christmas shopping, and there was a very cute, sparkly, elephant ornament on mega sale for $2. I considered getting it, for the sole purpose of her not being able to complain about how I hadn’t got her anything, but my principles won out. The elephant remained on the store’s Christmas tree, and I kept my $2.

Papa Bear and I exchanged gifts on the 23rd. First he gave me gift from the Wifey–a mug with a glass jar of organic peppermint hot chocolate inside, and a little note saying she wished me a merry Christmas.

I got him a leather man-necklace hand stamped with the coordinates of the place where we had our first date, and a pair of boxers with mistletoe on them that said “Kiss Me” on the band. He loved them, and the card I made him. He never takes the necklace off.

He gave me a snow-globe with Jack and Sally from Nightmare before Christmas in it, saying it reminded him of us (he’d watched the movie for the first time with me and my kids). I thanked him and kissed him, and then he told me to close my eyes and brought out a Christmas stocking full of goodies.

I have told him before how I’m the only one out of me, hubby and the kids, who doesn’t have a handmade Christmas stocking with their name on it. The kids have ones a relative made for them one Christmas, the Hubby has had the same one with his name on it since kindergarten, a gift from a family friend. One year I bought myself a felt stocking and wrote “Mom” on it in puffy paint, but it wasn’t the same.

Papa Bear did not knit me the stocking–ha ha–but it was hand-made in Nepal, and fair trade. And I think it is now the most beautiful one hanging in our living room 🙂

Inside the stocking was a mug with a retro bathing suit on it, a gift card to a clothing store, a tin of gourmet hot chocolate, a bunch of fair trade chocolate bars, a few little bottles of flavored balsamic vinegar, pumpkin honey, cinnamon maple syrup, and liquor minis.

We snuggled and talked and drank, and then watched Four Christmases. There were orgasms. We fell asleep and woke up together on Christmas Eve. The Wifey had slept over at her boyfriend’s house, because things between all of us are super awkward right now, so it was a relief to be able to hang out with Papa Bear’s daughter Lucy in the morning while she baked, without having to worry about that.

The two of us went to breakfast, and then back to my place, where Papa Bear exchanged gifts with kids and the hubby. Papa Bear got Lego sets for everyone (The Husband loves Lego as much as the kids do!), and hubby and the kids got Papa Bear a couple packages of candy and a Gift Certificate for The Keg.  I watched all of them down on the floor, building with Lego while I sipped my tea and took photos, and thought, At this moment, my life is perfect. 

Papa Bear left, and we continued with our Christmas Eve. The kids wore their holiday outfits, we phoned and skyped with family members, we watched a movie and ate goodies, and the kids got their traditional new books and pajamas before bed.

The next day was Christmas the way we love it. We stay in our pajamas all day. We forgo the big dinner in favor of bottomless hor d’oeuvres, so no one is stuck in the kitchen all day. The kids play with their new toys. Hubby and I drink spiked hot chocolate and read our new books. Hubby surprised me with a beautiful pair of white gold hoop earrings, and I am constantly reaching up to touch my ears to make sure I haven’t lost one.

I texted with Papa Bear throughout the day, and he said he was sad. He and The Wifey were fighting. She thought that his desire to lay down on the couch meant he didn’t want to be there. I felt bad for him.

On Boxing Day Papa Bear and I went shopping, and I helped him pick out a suit jacket. I found a Christmas ornament The Wifey would like, and I told him to buy it and put it away for her for next Christmas. He did. The Wifey was out with her boyfriend, so Papa Bear and I took advantage of the empty house and had sex.

Our New Years was awesome. We got a hotel room downtown, where we hung out and drank and fucked, and then got dressed up and went to dinner. After dinner we bundled up and headed to the downtown square, to listen to live music and watch the fireworks, which were impressive and set to music. Back at the hotel we popped champagne and cuddled and fell asleep all tangled in each other.

We’ve seen each other a lot the past few days, too. The Wifey just returned home after spending the last three days at her boyfriend’s house. I have more to write about all of our relationships, but this post is already long enough.

Stay tuned.

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